Impatience — That was my middle name this week.
“Have patience, have patience, don’t be in such a hurry. When you get impatient, you only start to worry….” Does anyone remember that song that came out in the 1980′s? It is forever branded in my brain.
This week I was filled with impatience, which means I was not content. I was sick off and on all week – the head cold, the upset tummy and I was like, ”LORD, get to work here and heal me quickly! Like NOW LORD! Right now, not tomorrow…”
Then, I fell into a “poor, poor pitiful me” pity party. Remember that song by Linda Ronstadt? Lord have mercy!
Then, I was impatient with the house… “LORD, why hasn’t the house sold… hurry up and sell it, PLEASE… Come on Lord, send the right buyer, like NOW!”
Yep, it was a heck of a week. And then I got really sick – all over the bathroom floor and all over the throw rugs and I was frustrated and angry! I became furious while doing the laundry because I didn’t feel good enough to be doing the laundry and I crying as I was mopping up the floor because I was too sick to be mopping up the floor and you know…. “God this is ALL YOUR FAULT BECAUSE YOU DID NOT HEAL ME WHEN I ORDERED YOU TOO!”
Did you catch that? Ordered? How many times do we feel that as a Christian, that we should have first priority – the right – to expect favor over others? How many times do we feel that we, as good little Christians, DESERVE to be healed, deserve to receive – whatever, like NOW God. Like, I’m a Khardasian or a Paris Hilton so yeah, I need this now because I am one spoiled cow… Yep. That was me this week.
I can picture myself as a pre-teen:
“Mom, I needed it now, not tomorrow!”
“Mom, why were you late, don’t you care?”
“Mom, you should have fixed it!”
Ya right. Am I any different than that whiny pre-teen I have rather fond memories of?
Not really.
Now I want to make it clear that there is nothing wrong with wanting to make your life better, for wanting God to heal you, to sell your house, or anything else. God blesses those who bless others. Look at Abraham, Solomon, David, Job,… God blessed them above and beyond measure. He wants to bless me. He really does.
“Ask and you shall receive…seek and you shall find.” God’s desire is to bless us but He can’t when we live in a constant state of discontent. He can’t when we WHINE, DEMAND and POUT. He can’t when we fall into a state of self induced self pity.
When we fall into this mess (and yes, I was MESS), then we block the Lord’s blessings. We shut the door in his face. Did you ever slam your bedroom door because you were mad at your parents? So frustrated you hoped it would just fall of the hinges? Did you ever try to block your mom or dad out of your life because they didn’t do this or that for you? Well, I sure did.
As a good parent, the Lord has to teach us and “train us up in the way we should go, so when we grow old we will not depart from…” Him.
Or as the Message Bible translates: ”Point your kids in the right direction— when they’re old they won’t be lost”. Psalm 22:6 I am God’s little girl. He’s my Daddy, my Abba Father.
So the Lord pointed me in the right direction and where did He lead me? To His throne. To the Throne of Grace, to 
a place of repentance, to a place of true inner healing. To a place of trusting Him, of relying on my faith and knowing without a doubt that He knows what is best for me.
To a place of sweet contentment.
Before I came to the Lord I was told more than once that I had a heart of stone. The Lord broke my heart then and He broke it again this week – but only so He could heal it properly.
I think all who know Him are pretty thinned skinned, otherwise He would have a hard time penetrating the inner depths of our soul.
“By humility and the fear of the LORD are riches, and honour, and life”. Psalm 22:4
I’m so glad I can look back and laugh at myself!
Have a wonderful week 
My One Word Series
Such a heartwarming post, Kathleen, and yes I do remember moments of being impatient and blaming it on God and wondering why He wasn’t answering my prayers NOW!! As I’ve gotten older, though, I find I have too much patience! lol Some tell me they would have blown up by now with impatience but I tell them what’s the use of being impatient, it just makes things worse, not better. It sounds like you had a really miserable week, hopefully this week is MUCH better:-) xoxo
It was an unusual week to be sure. I’m overall a pretty patient person – at least compared to when I was younger – But, I still have a long way to go it seems — Good thing I can laugh at myself in hindsite
Hugs!
Love your post!
Be at peace.
Felecia
Thank you Felecia… I am feeling very peaceful but excited today as I will be visiting my mother and seeing two of my sisters…. ! yeah!
Impatience, it seems, is my middle name, without me being sick:) Great post! I can relate:)
Thank you for stopping by, I so appreciate you kind comments. Have a wonderful day
I do yoga once a week and the thing that I focus on as my message for the day from that practice is not rushing. Unfortunately, I am lucky if I can sustain that thought for the rest of the day!
I’ve thought about yoga for many of the wonderful benefits. I’m basically a rather patient person at least compared to how I was 20 years ago
Oh boy, preach it sister! I hear ya. Why do I treat God like a fairy godmother?!
Now there’s another thought! Oh my! Thank you Tami
Have a fabulous day!
Kathleen, I’ve always said that God sends us trials to teach us patience. We all get impatient once in a while, especially when we aren’t well. Don’t beat yourself up too bad over it. Our Father forgives us. He knows what we are going to do before we do.
Hope you are feeling better. Will say a special prayer for your healing.
Blessings,
Mary
Thank you Mary! It was just one of those things and now I can laugh at myself for being ridiculous and yes, when you feel sick – the devil knows it and starts beating up on you! Thank you for your prayers. I’m traveling tomorrow and hate that I’m not 100% yet. Hugs!
Hi Kathleen, I wanted to return the blog visit and thank you for taking the time to comment on mine. Contentment is always a goal of mine. I think too, that here I am, committed to the slow life, and yet frequently struggle with impatience. What an irony. I love that first photo. Precious!
Thank you so much Leigh. I so appreciate you taking the time to stop by. Have a wonderful tomorrow
that all sound familiar. i am that way sometimes. i get all mad when everything i planned seem to go on the opposite direction. i get impatient too and my prayer sounds more like a demand than a request. God does sends opportunities for us to practice patience. and boy is it hard!
It is hard but God knows that – Humans are fragile and imperfect which is why we need a perfect God. Thank you so much Pia! Hugs!
enjoyed this heart warming post.
Denise – thank you so very much
Have a wonderful weekend !
Hi Kathleen
What a truly convicting post! Haven’t we all been there…more often than I’d like to admit to! Co-incidentally, the bible study on Ephesians I’m doing had a passage addressing the fact that we could never merit God’s graces. We can be presumptuous of God’s blessings can’t we? Thanks for this great reminder.
Have a lovely weekend.
Lisa Marie,
You are so right. I’ve been over to read your Bible study and comments – very informative and inspiring. Thank you so much for stopping by
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